The Best is Yet to Come

Matthew found support and compassion at CERRC which helped him achieve his goals. October 2023.

Matthew, a 2023 graduate of the Central East Regional Recovery Center (CERRC) Outpatient Treatment Program, recently celebrated two years of sobriety since starting his recovery journey in October 2022.

Fresh out of a divorce, Matthew shared that he chose the wrong path, “running from my problems, then things continued to downfall.” Before he knew it, he was “going from that perfect imperfect life of owning a house and having a kid to being homeless on the street to getting in trouble with the police.” Matthew explained that he was charged with carjacking and robbery. “The carjacking was for breaking somebody’s window, and the robbery was for a salad,” he said. 

After being released from jail, Matthew was directed to CERRC for outpatient treatment services and support. In the beginning, he had difficulty committing himself to the program. Matthew recalled that he “kind of ran from the sober living,” at first. He said he remained without shelter for two more weeks, “but I would come here [CERRC] and check in. I wasn’t able to put together clean time… especially being on the street,” Matthew said. Even amid the harsh conditions of homelessness, he continued to push forward.   

But then, on Thanksgiving of 2022, about a month into the program, Matthew tried to *commit suicide. “It was a really hard day for me; it was my first Thanksgiving without family, without my daughter. And I just wanted to leave the world silently,” Matthew said. His attempt failed, and he miraculously received a second chance. “I didn’t pass away; I just ended up going to the hospital, breathing like Darth Vader for a long time.”  

After that, Matthew reached a turning point and spent some time healing from the traumatic experience. “I had established some clean time and had done some minor work on myself… that’s when ECS brought me in again. I stayed clean through the whole program,” Matthew said. 

The path to recovery is not easy, but with hard work and a program like CERRC to guide you, the joy of sobriety is possible. **October 2023.

Matthew shared that he has taken many steps in his journey to recovery, “but coming here [CERRC] and getting dedicated to a program and living in a sober living [home] for a long time...  has just changed my thinking, my dynamic.” Matthew said he learned to change his mindset to “keep fighting; I am good enough… I do recovery for myself today because it feels good.”  

Now, Matthew is completely sober, has a job he enjoys, has continuous support from his friends and the CERRC staff, and is currently seeing a therapist. “It’s fun being sober today,” he said. “I’ve never felt this good about myself.” 

CERRC would not have the healing effect it does without its dedicated staff. According to Matthew, “One of the most important things that I can hold on to is the compassion from the staff.” In returning to CERRC for this interview, Matthew shared how welcomed he still felt by all the friendly faces at the program. He explained how much the staff does for clients, ensuring they have the necessities they need. “I feel like my counselor Summer was very understanding of my situation, as far as just being broken at the time for many reasons,” Matthew said. “She has impacted my life forever. And I’ll never forget what she gave me.” 

“There’s a lot of people that want it, that want to get better,” he said. “But it makes it very hard when you can’t even provide for yourself due to circumstances that are sometimes so hard to move through financially, mentally, physically. A program like this really helps you get your foundation going and also brings you back to life mentally.” The work to help those struggling with addiction may not always be easy, but “I think the ones that want it are worth it,” Matthew said. Thanks to CERRC’s programming and the additional services, Matthew regained control of his life and now envisions his future with optimism. “I feel like my 40s are going to be the best years of my life,” he expressed. 

CERRC offers outpatient treatment for adults and transitional aged youth with substance use disorders, focusing on individual counseling, group therapy, and strategic planning. The multidisciplinary team specializes in co-occurring disorders, homelessness, and employment challenges, ensuring connection to additional community services. To learn more, please visit https://www.ecscalifornia.org/central-east-regional-recovery-center. 

*If you or a loved one is experiencing thoughts or suicide ideations, call 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or 1-888-724-7240 to reach The San Diego Access & Crisis Line (ACL). The hotline is a free and confidential support system available 24/7. 

**Caption dates may not be exact.

Finding Silver Linings

*Content Warning: This article discusses sensitive topics including sexual assault, domestic violence, and drug use. 

Despite the challenges she has faced, Maria maintains an optimistic attitude. April 2024.

When you meet Maria, you’ll find a lively and optimistic person, but life has dealt her an unfair hand, beginning when she was just a child. At seven years old, she was molested by a family member and, at 10, learned she was adopted, which shifted her world as she knew it. At 18, she got pregnant and moved to California where she had her baby and soon got into the first of several abusive relationships in which she was physically and mentally abused and raped.  

She described one of her relationships, saying, "he beat me up for five years... black and blue, black and blue.” Maria tried her best to escape her situation at home by teaching aerobics and pouring her energy into fitness, but at 23, her coping mechanisms took an unhealthy turn when she was introduced to drugs, quickly destroying everything she had.  

She had two children in her late 30s, but both were taken by *the Child and Family Well-Being Department. “They were taken from my arms; I never saw them again. I tried to get them back, but I was too heavily on drugs,” she said. 

After couch surfing for some time, Maria found herself homeless on the street in San Diego. Maria described that experience as “dirty all the time, trying to find places to use the bathroom, horrible.” During that time, Maria overdosed. It took three doses of Narcan to bring her back. The employees at the hospital asked Maria if she wanted to go to rehab. “I said ‘nope.’ My friends were there waiting with the dope, and they picked me up,” so she continued doing drugs.  

However, everything changed when Maria went to the emergency room for an extreme infection. During her recovery, she figured that since she was off drugs, she might as well stay off.  

After years of tragic experiences, she began to take her life back. “I know what I want. I want to be happy. And drugs did not make me happy, it took everything I ever loved from me.” 

Maria went into sober living and eventually met the criteria for ECS Uptown Safe Haven (UTSH). She has been living at UTSH for 10 months, and it has given her the ability to reshape her life with strength and intention. Maria said that UTSH has given her a positive environment where she can work on herself and feel safe. “They [UTSH] have good programs I participate in, the staff is wonderful, I’m very happy being here,” Maria explained. “They help me a lot here by working on myself... This is a new chapter in my life, and it has been the best year of my life.” 

UTSH has also helped Maria take better care of her physical and mental health. The impressive array of running shoes neatly lined up in her room at the safe haven proves her dedication to exercise, but her room is also full of clues to her mental health journey. On her desk rests a journal filled with daily intentions that Maria writes every morning. One of her latest entries lists things she is thankful for — the UTSH staff, her mom, her health, and her sobriety making up a few items on that list. 

Maria’s vision board keeps her on track toward achieving her goals. August 2024.

Above her desk, hangs a vision board which helps Maria actualize her dreams. The vision board includes everything from an iPhone to a cat to actor Jeremy Allen White. Her wall is decorated with countless inspirational phrases such as “I didn’t just survive, I thrived” and “I’ve never felt stronger.” Maria’s current goals are to save up for a new bike and her own apartment.  

Maria’s journey to recovery and finding herself has also helped her family relationships. She shared that she and her oldest daughter used to do drugs together, but six years ago her daughter got sober, encouraging Maria to follow suit. “We’re the tightest, she’s my best friend. She’s my biggest supporter and biggest cheerleader,” Maria said.  

Maria has faced countless obstacles, but she has found the strength to push past those challenges. Now, she wants to take the negative experiences of her own journey and spin them into something positive by helping others. Currently, Maria volunteers feeding the homeless every week, but her dream is to talk to other victims of domestic violence. She wants to inspire others to work on themselves, strive for sobriety, and reclaim their lives, turning the darkest parts of her life into silver linings. “Everything happens for a reason... It’s a beautiful life being sober,” she said. “It’s a beautiful life waking up and knowing you’re not getting beaten anymore... I’m so happy now.” 

With the support of programs like UTSH, Maria was able to turn her life into something beautiful. “I wake up proud of myself. I wake up alive and thank God for another day,” she said. “Becoming an independent woman is the best feeling ever. Working on yourself, knowing you can make it by yourself is the best feeling. I mean look at me, I’m about to have my own apartment for the first time. I’m so blessed and thankful for every day, for this roof, the staff, the food. I am so blessed.”    

UTSH is a residential facility that provides transitional housing and supportive services to chronically homeless single adults with moderate to severe mental health issues. To learn more visit ecscalifornia.org/uptown-safe-haven-1. 

*Formerly called Child Protective Services (CPS).

Beyond the Darkness of Substance Use Disorder

CERRC helps people facing SUDs to recover and find fullness in their lives without substances. April 2024.

At first glance, Giovanni’s life may have looked like everything anyone could ask for. A long and full relationship with a supportive spouse, a home with four great children, and overall, a beautiful, blended family. However, not everything was picture-perfect. Giovanni’s long-standing substance use disorder (SUD) plagued his life in many ways.

His SUD began when Giovanni was just a teenager, not far from his own kids’ current ages. He was kicked out of his childhood home at 17 years old and continued to use alcohol, cocaine, opioids, and other substances to avoid his problems. Even as he tried to push that obstacle aside over time, it would always return, interfering with his family life. Giovanni would keep up with family responsibilities to the bare minimum, but his craving to use would always pull him away, getting in the way of important tasks and even family outings. “My attitude would throw it off and ruin the day because I'd try to pick a fight so I could go drop them off at the house and do what I want to do,” Giovanni said. He also experienced several incidents of blacking out and being woken up by the police. As these incidents went on, Giovanni began to recognize the toll that his SUD was taking, not just on himself but his loved ones. “I realized it was taking a lot of time from my family and affecting them as well, especially my youngest one. He’d think that my behavior was normal; that that’s how you can act and treat your family. I’m trying to reverse that and change his outlook on how a man should be around his family.”

Giovanni describes his family as everything he’s ever wanted. August 2024.*

His family’s concern grew over time, worried that Giovanni would do something harmful or bring harm to himself. “[My wife] loved me, but she didn’t want to see me stuck in my addiction or behave the way I was behaving, just being so negative and depressed and down because I didn’t have control of myself or my emotions,” Giovanni explained.

The breaking point came when Giovanni blacked out and acted violently toward his family. He has no recollection of the incident himself, which scared him even more, knowing how quickly things could have turned into a complete disaster. “My wife told me that was the last incident she was going to accept,” Giovanni said. “She was scared. My kids were scared. It had been too many years of me using excuses... it was time for me to turn the page and start over and make sure it’s done right.”

Giovanni was incarcerated before moving on to recovery programs. He explained how after being pushed out of his childhood home, he always wanted his own family. But when he finally had those things, his SUD started to push that away, too. “I didn’t appreciate that until I was sitting in a cell by myself thinking about, ‘I have everything I asked for and wanted, and everything I prayed to God for,’ and I was just complaining about all of the responsibilities that I had. I realized I needed to change something.” So, Giovanni set his sights on sobriety.

Giovanni smiles for a photo with his wife and children. August 2024.*

He attended Heartland House, a men’s residential SUD recovery program before being referred to ECS Central East Regional Recovery Center (CERRC). Giovanni shared that it was initially difficult to commit to CERRC, sitting in class after already graduating from the previous program. However, once he began listening to others’ experiences and sharing his own stories, “it was empowering. It was new and different.” He shared that “I tried [to get sober] before by myself without any help or programs or anything, and I’d go a couple of months, but I didn’t have people explaining to me how to deal with my emotions or my feelings... just hearing those things and people that supported me, sharing their stories with me makes me want to make sure I get it right the first time.”

CERRC offered the support that Giovanni needed. “The staff here — Monic, Reiko, Skylar — they’re supportive, and they’re strong, and they make it easy to relate with them because they also have their history and share their stories with you and explain how they got to this part of their life,” Giovanni said. “It’s inspiring to see people change and be able to help others.” The staff at CERRC also gave Giovanni many coping skills to overcome his SUD and confront his problems head-on instead of turning to substances. “ECS helped me out with how to understand my emotions, how to deal with them, and not to use substances to try to drown and escape those feelings,” he said.

Giovanni graduated from CERRC after about four months in the program. Since then, his relationship with his family and his own career goals have taken a turn for the better. Giovanni passed a drug test for the first time since he was 14 years old. He got a security job, joined an online fitness group that offers support from members across the globe and obtained his Class A driver’s license, a longtime goal of his. “I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I was under the influence. I always talked about doing it, wanting to do it, but I never took the initiative or the step forward to try to do it,” Giovanni said.

Giovanni speaks of his wife as his greatest supporter and teammate. August 2024.*

With the help of CERRC, Giovanni has his family back, too. While talking about his wife, Giovanni described how impactful her support has been to him, as well. “Having her around strengthens me and shows me that people do believe in me, even if they see the flaws,” he said. “She’s a big help, she’s a great woman.” He described their marriage as a team that built a blended family. “I try to be the best role model for my kids and best partner for my wife as I can be,” Giovanni said.

While at CERRC, Giovanni learned the value of patience in his sobriety journey, moving one step at a time to go forward, even when it gets hard. “It’s not worth reverting back, pressing rewind, and losing all that progress that we gained and everything that we learned just for a high or to escape that moment,” he said. “The high is just temporary, but your life is more important than just the high.” Giovanni shared that although it can be daunting to take that step, “it’s not a bad thing to grow and change your lifestyle and express yourself. ECS teaches you how to do that. They’re a big support, and sometimes you need support whether you think you do or not. It’s good to have somebody to talk to and show you a different way, a new way.”

Thanks to CERRC, Giovanni can step up as the husband and father he knows he can be and strive to accomplish his goals. “Thank you to ECS, the program, and everybody in here... they really truly helped.”

To learn more about CERRC, visit https://www.ecscalifornia.org/central-east-regional-recovery-center.

*Caption dates may not be exact.

There’s a Gift in Giving

Every child deserves the magic of waking up on Christmas morning to find gifts from Santa waiting under the tree. One way ECS supports our families during the holiday season is through Family-to-Family for the Holidays.  

Family-to-Family for the Holidays, ECS’ annual gift-giving campaign, ensures that every family has a memorable holiday season. Donors who sign up as sponsors are matched with a family that includes at least one member who currently receives services from one of ECS’ programs. In 2023, Family-to-Family provided gifts for more than 315 neighbors from 70 families. Thanks to generous sponsors, many children got to experience a magical Christmas day, a gift you cannot put a price on. 

Precious’ four kids have all been impacted by ECS and the generosity of Family-to-Family sponsors. *November 2024.

Head Start parent and 2023 Family-to-Family recipient Precious is a mother to four children, and, like any parent, she understands just how important childhood Christmas can be. “It’s really important for me to be able to give them something and give them different experiences,” she said.  

Every year for Christmas, Precious’ family decorates their house with twinkling lights and enjoys their own family traditions, one of their favorites being marshmallow fights. “I buy bunches and bunches of marshmallows, and we have marshmallow fights,” Precious explained, laughing. “We say ‘one, two, three, go,’ and we just start chucking them at each other, ‘got you, got you.’” Afterwards, they put all their blankets on the floor in front of the TV and watch movies while sipping on apple cider or hot cocoa. 

Thanks to Family-to-Family, Precious was able to create lasting memories for her children with the joy of carefully chosen, donated gifts. When Precious gives her kids gifts, she often wraps the gift inside several layers of boxes. By happenstance, the Family-to-Family sponsor who was matched with Precious’ family last year wrapped the gifts the same way, much to her kids’ excitement.  

ECS has helped increase Precious’ confidence as a parent and leader. *November 2024.

The sponsor also went the extra mile with their gift for Precious. She shared that they gave her a set of lotions that lasted for months. The generosity of the sponsors and the gift-giving program added extra joy to Christmas for Precious and her family.  

“It’s so nice to know that you can lean on and count on a beautiful person to donate,” she said. “I hope I have an impact like that, too.”  

Precious feels passionate about being part of the cycle of giving, making her own donations – such as clothes, sheets, and pillowcases – to the ECS Family Engagement Center to help support other families in the community. 

ECS Head Start has provided quality education and childcare for Precious’ four children, but ECS’ touch has gone beyond those essentials. Precious was able to use many of ECS’ wraparound services including Head Start’s prenatal program and referrals for speech therapy for two of her children. “This is one of the best programs I’ve ever interacted with that can actually advocate for you and is with you,” she said.  

Head Start’s community of care expands to parents, as well. Precious participates in parent meetings and the policy committee, sat in on interviews for teachers, and traveled to Texas to represent ECS at a Head Start convention. “[Head Start] helped strengthen my confidence in how I was parenting and what I saw in my children,” she said. 

ECS programs like Head Start and Family-to-Family for the Holidays aim to support families like Precious’. “My children have been touched in a positive way by ECS all their lives,” Precious said.  

Join the cycle of giving. Visit the “Ways to Give” page on www.ecscalifornia.org to learn how you can support parents like Precious and help our youngest community members thrive. As Precious put it, “there’s a gift in giving.” 

*Caption dates may not be exact.