Beyond the Darkness of Substance Use Disorder

CERRC helps people facing SUDs to recover and find fullness in their lives without substances. April 2024.

At first glance, Giovanni’s life may have looked like everything anyone could ask for. A long and full relationship with a supportive spouse, a home with four great children, and overall, a beautiful, blended family. However, not everything was picture-perfect. Giovanni’s long-standing substance use disorder (SUD) plagued his life in many ways.

His SUD began when Giovanni was just a teenager, not far from his own kids’ current ages. He was kicked out of his childhood home at 17 years old and continued to use alcohol, cocaine, opioids, and other substances to avoid his problems. Even as he tried to push that obstacle aside over time, it would always return, interfering with his family life. Giovanni would keep up with family responsibilities to the bare minimum, but his craving to use would always pull him away, getting in the way of important tasks and even family outings. “My attitude would throw it off and ruin the day because I'd try to pick a fight so I could go drop them off at the house and do what I want to do,” Giovanni said. He also experienced several incidents of blacking out and being woken up by the police. As these incidents went on, Giovanni began to recognize the toll that his SUD was taking, not just on himself but his loved ones. “I realized it was taking a lot of time from my family and affecting them as well, especially my youngest one. He’d think that my behavior was normal; that that’s how you can act and treat your family. I’m trying to reverse that and change his outlook on how a man should be around his family.”

Giovanni describes his family as everything he’s ever wanted. August 2024.*

His family’s concern grew over time, worried that Giovanni would do something harmful or bring harm to himself. “[My wife] loved me, but she didn’t want to see me stuck in my addiction or behave the way I was behaving, just being so negative and depressed and down because I didn’t have control of myself or my emotions,” Giovanni explained.

The breaking point came when Giovanni blacked out and acted violently toward his family. He has no recollection of the incident himself, which scared him even more, knowing how quickly things could have turned into a complete disaster. “My wife told me that was the last incident she was going to accept,” Giovanni said. “She was scared. My kids were scared. It had been too many years of me using excuses... it was time for me to turn the page and start over and make sure it’s done right.”

Giovanni was incarcerated before moving on to recovery programs. He explained how after being pushed out of his childhood home, he always wanted his own family. But when he finally had those things, his SUD started to push that away, too. “I didn’t appreciate that until I was sitting in a cell by myself thinking about, ‘I have everything I asked for and wanted, and everything I prayed to God for,’ and I was just complaining about all of the responsibilities that I had. I realized I needed to change something.” So, Giovanni set his sights on sobriety.

Giovanni smiles for a photo with his wife and children. August 2024.*

He attended Heartland House, a men’s residential SUD recovery program before being referred to ECS Central East Regional Recovery Center (CERRC). Giovanni shared that it was initially difficult to commit to CERRC, sitting in class after already graduating from the previous program. However, once he began listening to others’ experiences and sharing his own stories, “it was empowering. It was new and different.” He shared that “I tried [to get sober] before by myself without any help or programs or anything, and I’d go a couple of months, but I didn’t have people explaining to me how to deal with my emotions or my feelings... just hearing those things and people that supported me, sharing their stories with me makes me want to make sure I get it right the first time.”

CERRC offered the support that Giovanni needed. “The staff here — Monic, Reiko, Skylar — they’re supportive, and they’re strong, and they make it easy to relate with them because they also have their history and share their stories with you and explain how they got to this part of their life,” Giovanni said. “It’s inspiring to see people change and be able to help others.” The staff at CERRC also gave Giovanni many coping skills to overcome his SUD and confront his problems head-on instead of turning to substances. “ECS helped me out with how to understand my emotions, how to deal with them, and not to use substances to try to drown and escape those feelings,” he said.

Giovanni graduated from CERRC after about four months in the program. Since then, his relationship with his family and his own career goals have taken a turn for the better. Giovanni passed a drug test for the first time since he was 14 years old. He got a security job, joined an online fitness group that offers support from members across the globe and obtained his Class A driver’s license, a longtime goal of his. “I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I was under the influence. I always talked about doing it, wanting to do it, but I never took the initiative or the step forward to try to do it,” Giovanni said.

Giovanni speaks of his wife as his greatest supporter and teammate. August 2024.*

With the help of CERRC, Giovanni has his family back, too. While talking about his wife, Giovanni described how impactful her support has been to him, as well. “Having her around strengthens me and shows me that people do believe in me, even if they see the flaws,” he said. “She’s a big help, she’s a great woman.” He described their marriage as a team that built a blended family. “I try to be the best role model for my kids and best partner for my wife as I can be,” Giovanni said.

While at CERRC, Giovanni learned the value of patience in his sobriety journey, moving one step at a time to go forward, even when it gets hard. “It’s not worth reverting back, pressing rewind, and losing all that progress that we gained and everything that we learned just for a high or to escape that moment,” he said. “The high is just temporary, but your life is more important than just the high.” Giovanni shared that although it can be daunting to take that step, “it’s not a bad thing to grow and change your lifestyle and express yourself. ECS teaches you how to do that. They’re a big support, and sometimes you need support whether you think you do or not. It’s good to have somebody to talk to and show you a different way, a new way.”

Thanks to CERRC, Giovanni can step up as the husband and father he knows he can be and strive to accomplish his goals. “Thank you to ECS, the program, and everybody in here... they really truly helped.”

To learn more about CERRC, visit https://www.ecscalifornia.org/central-east-regional-recovery-center.

*Caption dates may not be exact.

Letter from a Grateful Para Las Familias Parent

Read Spanish Translation Here/Lea la Traducción al Español Aquí

ECS Para Las Familias (PLF) is an outpatient behavioral and mental health clinic for low-income children ages 0 to 12 and their families. PLF’s bilingual therapists provide a variety of early-childhood mental health services that aim to strengthen guardian-child bonds, address behavioral issues, boost confidence, give tools for successful parenting, and more. Former PLF parent Alicia expresses her gratitude for the program in the following letter:

To whom it may concern,

First of all, I want to thank Para Las Familias for all their support towards my family. Everything we have learned is thanks to them, from the Zoom courses with Angie Puffelis through the Circle of Security; I liked it so much and understood so much that I took it again for eight more weeks to reinforce what I learned. In each class, one could express any doubts and achievements over time.

When the classes ended, I wanted to continue learning more about motherhood and how to help my son. So, I asked for more information and that was when they gave my son and I the opportunity to start therapy with "his Miss Letty," a person so noble and upright in her work.

We learned a lot as parents since my husband and I, along with my son, attended therapy together. My son has learned a lot and we along with him. There were a lot of breakthroughs, I could say a lot of things about her... but in short, she is a professional at what she does... My son still remembers her and every day he asks about her and Mrs. Elizabeth who is the best person to receive parents. She is so cute and so nice, polite, and always available to answer any questions, or any doubts, or other needs. The truth is that they have a super team: Laura, Irene, Miss Margarita, Nancy. Every time I go, I feel at home because that is how they make us feel when we arrive. All the scheduled appointments are respected, they never make us wait, and if there is need to reschedule, or accommodations are needed, there are always options to agree to carry out the appointments in case one of the two sides cannot...

In general, from my point of view, therapy is the best for me. I am taking therapy right now with Angie, and wooo yes, I leave with a lot of information that I can put into practice at home. I am also with Miss Margarita with a nephew in therapy, and she has helped me a lot to understand his emotions and see through his eyes. To put myself in his place and thus help him a lot.

I am so grateful because I know that Para Las Familias came into our lives at the exact moment to be able to continue moving forward as a family and as first-time parents. We already have many tools to continue life and what I love the most is that the Circle of Security applies to any person of any age and is very well understood.

You never leave empty-handed. The children always leave with stickers, snacks, or a small toy. The attention they give to each child is extraordinary, I definitely recommend this beautiful place. They also help you with a lot of resources, information for support either pantry, activities for children, or more courses, etc...

Thank you so much for everything and God bless anyone who reads these humble words...

These are the words of a grateful mother with a heart willing to learn with her family. The road is not easy, but I know that little by little and with patience everything will work out.

Alicia’s story is just one example of how PLF can make a profound difference in people's lives. We are grateful for her willingness to share her journey with us. These heartfelt words from a grateful mother show her dedication to learning and growing with her family. The road is not easy, but with patience and perseverance, progress is made, little by little.

THANK YOU, PARA LAS FAMILIAS.

Donate today to provide funding and support to help families like Alicia’s.

The Power of Faith & Love

SAN DIEGO — As an artist, social activist, and kind soul, ECS Uptown Safe Haven (UTSH) resident Faith is filled with joy and hope thanks to your generous support.

Faith poses with some of her artwork in her room at UTSH. April 2024.

However, the Faith you see today is not the same person you would have met last November when she arrived at UTSH.

Originally from South Carolina, Faith moved to Washington, DC, in her 20s, where she built a successful career as a sous chef. During this phase of her life, she started her gender-affirming transition and witnessed her self-confidence flourish as she embraced her true identity.

Then, suddenly, her life took a sharp turn when she experienced a violent act by a family member, triggering a period of debilitating depression. “I could not work in kitchens anymore, which was the love of my life,” she shared. “I lost everything — my house, car, friends, everything.”

She attempted to get back on her feet by accepting a job offer in San Diego, but when she arrived, she discovered the offer to be a scam, leaving her without income or shelter.

Experiencing homelessness and having no support system, her downward spiral continued as she faced persistent violence while living on the street, including being beaten and left for dead.

While recovering at the hospital, Faith was fortunate to connect with a therapist who helped her secure a place at the ECS Uptown Safe Haven. This crucial intervention provided the stability she needed to change her trajectory, a testament to the impact of your support.

“I was in a women’s shelter for a while and had nothing going for me. My transition had stopped. I didn’t have hope for housing,” she sighed before enthusiastically offering, “I came here, and it’s been a complete 180. I feel so much better.”

“It’s given me the second chance that I needed,” Faith continued. “I feel so re-energized now. I’m in such a better place now.”

Art is a source of self-care for Faith. April 2024.

Thanks to the love you have shown through your gifts to ECS, Faith now has the strength to forge a new path forward. “I’m in school again. I’m going to be a surgical tech in plastic surgery — a new career field that I’m really excited about.”

While living at UTSH, Faith focuses on creating art as part of her self-care therapy. “It keeps my mind super busy and helps with my anxiety and depression tremendously.”

When asked about her love for flowers and landscapes as subjects for her art, she revealed, “They're perfectly imperfect. That's what I love about them. They're kind of like people.”

Faith’s journey is supported by our UTSH Program Manager, Raul Verdugo.

““It’s all in the name — Uptown Safe Haven. It truly is a safe haven. It gives residents the opportunity to feel safe, and feeling safe allows for a positive change in their lives.””

— Raul Verdugo, UTSH Program Manager

As the program manager, Raul and his team go far beyond providing shelter and food for 19 residents. Thanks to your support, they can provide hope and stability along with services such as educational guidance, on-site support groups, and a manageable mental health plan, all of which are crucial in transforming lives.

Raul and Renee at work at UTSH. April 2024.

Faith recently wrote a note of gratitude to Raul and UTSH Resident Assistant Renee Coleman sharing the lifesaving impact of UTSH.

“Because of places like this, I have hope now,” Faith said.

Visit Uptown Safe Haven to learn more.

Moonlight Ball 2024: Embraced by ECS

Sandra and her family attend the Moonlight Ball and share their story of ECS’ impact on their lives. May 2024.

Sandra had already raised four children, but nine years ago, she was unexpectedly tasked with raising two of her grandchildren, years after her kids had left the nest. Isabella and Isaac came into Sandra’s life and were in her words, “a gift from God.” Even so, the situation was not easy. “Basically, it was like starting over 23 years later,” Sandra said. “And I’m older, when you’re physically older it’s hard. You don’t have the same physical energy.”  

One of Sandra’s daughters was diagnosed with severe and visible mental illness when she was very young. When she reached her late twenties, Sandra’s daughter also developed a substance use disorder (SUD). Between her mental illness and SUD, “she went downhill fast,” as Sandra put it. Due to her destructive behavior, she was no longer able to live at home with her mother. 

“She told me she was pregnant, but I looked at her and all I saw was a very skinny person. I didn’t believe her,” Sandra said. A few months later, however, Sandra received a call from her daughter in labor and Isabella was born. Child Protective Services was called, and Isabella went to foster care. “I applied to get her, but it took about four and a half months because I was living in a big house, and I was renting rooms, so everybody had to be cleared,” Sandra said. In the meantime, Sandra visited Isabella with her foster mom, working to forge a bond with her granddaughter. 

Sandra acquired custody of Isabella, but another surprise was close behind when 15 months after Isabella was born, Sandra’s daughter gave birth to a second child — Isaac. Isaac also went to foster care, but because he went to the same foster mom as his sister, Sandra was able to get custody in just nine days. 

Suddenly a mother again, Sandra needed help. She asked her social worker for recommendations and ECS Head Start was suggested. “My thing was the expense of childcare and a trustworthy place to take my children, because I always had that fear. Even with my other kids, I was afraid to leave them with strangers,” Sandra explained. Because foster children count as “no income,” Isabella and Isaac were able to attend Head Start free of charge, alleviating financial stress. Head Start also met Sandra where she was in terms of trust. “I felt a trust in that woman [at Head Start Home Base] immediately. I mean I worked at U.S. customs; I think I’m pretty good at reading people. But I trusted her right away,” Sandra said. 

Isaac (front row, second from the right) recieved support from Home Based Head Start along with his sister. *May 2024.

Head Start provided free trustworthy childcare, but Sandra was struck by the ways in which the program went above and beyond those basics. “[The teacher] helped me with everything, she helped me with teaching her how to eat properly, to the basic manners, helping potty train her,” Sandra said. 

Sandra’s grandchildren attended Head Start for five years, starting when Isabella was a toddler and Isaac was just an infant. “The biggest thing I wanted was trust, my child to be happy, and my child to learn. And I felt all those needs were met,” Sandra said. She described how Head Start helped Isabella and Isaac learn good behavior, establish a routine, and get excited to go to school. The center even helped Sandra’s children learn to brush their teeth and use eating utensils. “They were happy,” she said. “When you work, and you take your child somewhere you want them to learn and be happy.” By the time the two children went to kindergarten, they were prepared. Sandra shared that the T-K teacher at their new school commented “‘I love Head Start kids... they behave, they already have the basics.’” 

Head Start made an important difference in the lives of Sandra and her grandchildren. But life was still not entirely smooth sailing. Sandra and the teachers at Head Start noticed that Isaac seemed behind in his development. Sandra explained that it took him longer to sit, walk, and talk. He would scream to express himself and he even lashed out at a teacher and another student. Head Start evaluated Isaac and after hearing their family story and background, he was recommended to therapy. Head Start connected Sandra and her grandchildren to ECS Para Las Familias (PLF) and they signed up. 

Sandra and Isaac began working with Eladia, a PLF therapist. Isaac enjoyed therapy and “I noticed he matured,” Sandra said. “I was able to use the tools that Eladia showed me.” Although he started out frustrated with his inability to vocalize himself, “with the work and time he became able to calm down and to share,” Sandra said. 

Isaac made progress through his sessions, but Isabella needed help, too. Other children had started asking Sandra’s children questions about their family situation, putting them in a confusing situation. Other kids wanted to know why they lived with their grandma, why they had a foster mom, and why they got visits from their biological mom. But Isabella did not know the answers to these questions. “She was very confused about all this and adults talking and not understanding her story,” Sandra explained. 

PLF helped Isabella gain confidence in herself and understanding her family. May 2024.

Eladia told Sandra to gather all the pictures she had of the kids in the hospital, with the foster mom, with Sandra’s family, and with their biological mother. Sandra brought the pictures to PLF and described how Eladia “had these two blank books, and she wrote ‘my story’ for Isabella, and ‘my story’ for Isaac, and she put [the pictures of them] with their mom in the hospital, with the foster mom, the steps, and why they were not able to live with their mother.” Now, Isabella can confidently understand her situation. “Isabella’s not embarrassed, she’s very open,” Sandra said. “[Her friends] introduce me to their mothers they go ‘this is Isabella’s grandma. Isabella’s adopted.’ They all know.” Sandra expressed relief that she can openly discuss anything going on with her family without worrying what Isabella will overhear. “I can see that she’s more compassionate, more understanding,” Sandra said of her granddaughter. 

The photo albums were so impactful that Sandra shared the strategy with the grandparents' group she is a part of and encouraged them to also embrace honesty with the grandchildren they are raising. She explained that with the help of PLF, “[The children] are happy and well-adjusted even though they’re not with their bio mom.” 

PLF aided Sandra’s grandchildren in learning to share, cope, and understand. “All of that helped a lot,” Sandra said. “It gave me tools to guide them.” 

Recently, Sandra discovered that Isaac has anxiety. Sandra described how he was afraid of water, going to the bathroom alone, and trying new activities. His anxiety hindered his ability to participate and enjoy himself, and he even stopped eating enough. Sandra took Isaac back to PLF and together they worked with child and family therapist Margarita McFadden to learn coping strategies. Sandra now has the tools remind Isaac “stop, take a minute, breathe, calm down.” Over time, Isaac gained more confidence, became more open, and displayed more affection. “Now he’ll even put his feet in the ocean which he would never even go close to, but now he does,” Sandra said.  

PLF will continue to be a rock for Sandra and Isaac, as she has decided to enroll him in therapy every other year to help support him as he continues to grow. “I found it very very helpful, and you know, with anxiety, it’s never going to go away,” Sandra remarked. 

ECS gave Isabella and Isaac the foundation they need to succeed. *May 2024.

PLF made a big difference in Sandra’s family. She has applied the tools she’s learned at PLF with her other grandchildren, advised her other daughter to take her son to therapy, and recommended PLF to several families in her grandparents’ group. Sandra explained that PLF’s impact will be lifelong:  

“In the back of my mind always now is that I’m going to be 66 in May. And [Isabella and Isaac] are eight and nine. So, in 10 years I’ll be 76 and they’ll be 18... their chance of me living until they’re past 30 will be a miracle. So, I need to do what I can to make them strong, confident,” Sandra said.  

Sandra hopes that the lessons learned through PLF and Head Start will be lifelines for her grandchildren that will serve them even when she cannot.  

While her grandchildren attended Head Start, Sandra attended parent meetings for several years. Eventually, Head Start came to her when the ECS Board of Directors was in search of a Head Start parent to join the board. Sandra kept it simple: “I really loved Head Start for a lot of reasons, so I said ‘yeah.’” 

After joining, she explained how she wasn’t aware of the many programs under ECS. “I thought ‘wow, this is exciting.’ They run all these programs and I really felt like Head Start was a savior to me in a couple of ways. One, the childcare, the saving on expense of childcare. The fact that I felt comfortable and happy, and that my kids were safe, learning... I could see my kids were happy,” she said. 

Sandra enjoyed her two and a half years on the board, where she was able to share her firsthand experience as a Head Start parent, helping current parents and aiding the board in their decisions. Sandra continues to give back to ECS by serving on the Behavioral Health Committee, sponsoring a family in ECS’ annual Family-to-Family, and serving a dish at the CERRC Thanksgiving luncheon.  

Sandra commented that “I feel that the more people that love your baby, the better.” At ECS love and generosity is always prioritized with clients. Whether they be an infant at Head Start, an adult seeking SUD treatment, or anything in between, ECS offers support for community members. 

ECS’ mission is to break barriers and transform communities. Through children’s services, drug and alcohol treatment programs, and homeless services, ECS aims to uplift those in the San Diego community and strive for a brighter future. For more information on ECS or any of the individual programs visit www.ecscalifornia.org. 

*Caption dates may not be exact.