Ask the Experts: Child Development

When to Seek Help About a Child’s Development or Behavior?

A child’s brain grows at a very fast rate during the first few years of life. All children develop at different rates so it’s difficult at times to compare children in terms of development. A child will experience an accelerated rate of learning language, developing psychomotor and social skills during the first five years of life. During this period, some behaviors are normal such as aggression (hitting, biting, kicking, and pushing) and temper tantrums. One of the biggest challenges is for parents to know when a concern about their child’s development and behavior is “normal,” or when it’s time to seek help.

Click a topic below to learn more:

Aggression
Speech & Lanuage
Temper Tantrums
Attention & Learning
Toliet Training
Resources

Concerns About Aggression

All children have the instinct or impulse to hit, kick, bite or push. With the help from parents and caretakers, most children learn by the age of four to control their impulse and use other means to get their needs met. When the behavior occurs on a daily basis, at home or preschool, for a prolonged period, it’s time to seek advice or to consult with a professional. It’s important to seek advice in order to determine if the aggression is the result of lack of social skills, developmental delays, speech/language delay or the child is imitating aggressive behavior modeled at home by caretakers.

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Concerns About Speech & Lanuage

One of the most common reasons a child misbehaves is due to problems in language or speech development. Typically, behavior problems surface between the ages of three and five when a child is not able to communicate age appropriately. There are some clear warning signs that a child may be struggling with a speech delay. Getting the help needed as early as possible is crucial to prevent problems in the child’s ability to socialize and for normal development.

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Concerns About Temper Tantrums

Getting upset and crying is a normal reaction to frustration, even for adults. Up to the age of two, most children rely on crying as one of the primary means of communication. As language develops, crying decreases as a child learns to use words to get their needs met. Temper tantrums (crying, screaming, kicking, lying on the floor and throwing things) are expected with some regularity in all children up to the age of four. After the age of four, with the increase in language skills and parent’s assistance, children gradually learn to regulate their emotions and to calm down by themselves. Consider asking for advice if prolonged and daily temper tantrums persist for what appears to be no reason at all.

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Concerns About Attention & Learning

Most attention deficit problems are detected when a child starts preschool. A child needs to learn to focus their attention in order to learn at a normal rate. As a child grows older the child’s ability to focus or pay attention will determine the rate at which he/she learns new skills. Most common attention problems are: difficulty staying on task (i.e., circle time at preschool), not following instructions, wondering off and not following teacher’s instructions and the inability to participate in group activities. A parent should consider getting professional help if a child’s attention problem is interfering with the learning process at school or home. Significantly disruptive behavior is another indicator that parents need professional assistance.

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Concerns About Toilet Training

On average, a child will learn to use the toilet between the ages of two and a half and three years old. As a child acquires speech, he/she increasingly is able to communicate to parents when it’s time to use the toilet. Often, there’s a relationship between a child’s inability to use the toilet and language or other developmental delays. If a child reaches the age of three and half years old and hasn’t developed the skill to use the toilet, it may be time to talk with your pediatrician and seek advice.

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Resources

Consulting with your child’s pediatrician is always a safe place to start. Another important resource made available by First 5 California is a parent kit with great information about health, discipline, development and nutrition. The kit also includes a booklet titled “Advice for New Parents” with very useful information about a child’s development and behavior during the first five years. The kit is available by calling 211, the General Parent Resource Information Hotline. Raising a child can be the greatest joy a parent can experience, but it’s also a great endeavor. Some children are more challenging than others and it’s normal for parents to have doubts and questions. It’s important for parents to learn about the developmental milestones that occur during the first five years in a child’s life.

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